


Is It A Memory?

by IchBinAsh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, I Tried, It Gets Better, M/M, My First Fanfic, My mind is blanking so bad right now, Revised Version, Tea shop AU, ereri, i think, i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IchBinAsh/pseuds/IchBinAsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“Everything?” Levi contemplated what he was feeling. Beginning to feel overwhelmed, he let out a shaky breath. “I’m not sure…”</p><p>“Levi.” Eren sighed. It’s as if they’ve been through this a thousand times. The same mindless apologies followed by the same dejected look.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So yeah... I revised this fic like a lot. It IS the first fic that I've ever written and I felt like I could've done better so here it is... again! Let me know what you guys think! Comments and feedback are highly welcomed to help me get an understanding of where I want to take this fic and how I should improve on my writing. And if you see any typos or anything, please let me know. Thank you guys for taking out time and reading this. It means a lot to me :) Enjoy!~
> 
> Songs I listened to:
> 
> Forget (Feat. BRML) - Trifonic  
> Lies - Trifonic

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything?” Levi contemplated what he was feeling. Beginning to feel overwhelmed, he let out a shaky breath. “I’m not sure…”

“Levi.” Eren sighed. It’s as if they’ve been through this a thousand times. The same mindless apologies followed by the same dejected look.

“Eren,” Levi whispered. Head facing down, avoiding the younger’s gaze. Levi was hurting inside, but he was never really able to translate his thoughts into words. He always came off as too abrasive which made matters worse.

With knitted brows, the younger man turns to the older. “You always do this. You always say that ‘you’re sorry,’ but for what? You haven’t done anything wrong. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. Making you feel like there’s a reason to do so.”

Levi looked up into a--the once stunning--pair of bluish green eyes. Now, all he’s met with is a disheartened look and a faint dullness in the eyes of the man who’s heart he wore down. Levi’s heart seemed to ache even more. “If it weren’t for me then we wouldn’t be talking about taking a shitty break from our _goddamn_ relationship,” Levi snapped. Irritation present in his voice.

“C’mon, Levi. It’s only for a little while. Just enough for us to gather ourselves and figure things out. Lately, I feel like I’m constantly losing sight of myself. Like, I don’t really see where I’m headed. And to be honest, I’m not really sure if I see you with me--I mean I _want_ to be with you, it’s just that I can’t see myself with _anyone_ until I get my life pieced back together and at least sort of get a glimpse of my future.” Eren began to ramble, noticing a sense of unease settling between the two.

Levi, feeling a breeze pick up, began to shiver. He brought his trembling hands up to his scarf wrapping it tighter around his neck. A little too tight. Letting his hand fall to his lap in defeat, he tilted his head back, resting it against the faded yellow park bench. He gazed at the gradually darkening sky. Heavy gray clouds began to swallow what was left of the sun’s rays. _Looks like it’s about to rain,_ Levi thought to himself. The couple sat just inches apart. Elbows slightly touching. After almost two years of being in a relationship, Eren decides it’s time for a break. _Who am I kidding? I can’t even last a day without talking to this shitty brat. Fuck… what am I going to do?_ Closing his eyes, the older man settled on focusing on his breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

“Levi?” Eren hesitantly whispered the other’s name. “It’s only for a little while. I promise. I mean, you even said so yourself the year we started dating. We’re bound to take a break sometime.”

Levi winced at those words. Of course he remembered. He remembered those words clearly. He remembered the altercation they had. He remembered the words exchanged. He remembered the tears running down Eren’s face filled with betrayal and rage. He remembered all of it. They almost ended things right then and there. He let out a long sigh, unaware of the breath he was holding in. “So I guess this is goodbye for now, right?” Levi asked, finally opening his eyes to take in the man before him. All he wanted to do was take Eren into his arms and gently run his fingers through his messy brown locks. He wanted to leave gentle kisses all over that perfectly tanned skin and gaze into those pretty green eyes without worrying about the rest of the world. God, he would kill to see that gorgeous smile one last time. _Fuck Eren. Why’re you so beautiful? This just makes things more difficult._

“For now, yes. I still love you, Levi. I just need this. I just need to be able to rely on myself again without feeling like a burden. I promise I’ll be back before you know it, love. You are my _heichou_ after all.” Eren winked at the other, attempting to ease off some of the tension.

Levi chuckled, elbowing the other in the side. “Just take care of yourself, brat. Come back to me in one piece, ya’ hear? I’ll be waiting.”

“I will.” Eren answered with a grin marking his face. “Goodbye for now, Levi.”

Levi, all traces of irritation disappearing, smiled back lovingly. “Goodbye for now, Eren.”

Eren grabbed Levi’s hands and slowly stood up, pulling the other along with him.The younger wrapped his arms around the other in a warm embrace. Eren buried his face in Levi’s neck, taking in the scent of the older man. Oh, how much he’s going to miss his smell. He turned his head slightly, enough to whisper in Levi’s ear. “I’ll be back. I promise.” And with those words, he let go of Levi giving him a small, yet gentle smile. Eren turned on his heels and began to walk his separate way. Levi, still rooted to the same spot, watched the back of the man he loved gradually disappear from his sight. The tears he had been holding back finally let free. Raindrops soon joined the escaped tears, littering the ground before him.


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren’s unexpected encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to take this fic another direction. Enjoy!~

_7 years later…_

Levi was focused on cleaning a stain out of a teacup when the bell hanging above the café’s entrance rang, indicating that a customer had walked in. Petra, working alongside Levi, took the initiative to greet the newcomer, “Welcome! Please have a seat anywhere and I'll be right with you.”

The brown-haired customer flashed Petra a warm smile before he made his way to one of the sleek black stools set in front of the counter. Petra handed him a menu with a list of various teas and pastries. “Today's special is green tea with ginseng and a spoonful of honey. Please feel free to enjoy one of the many books on the bookshelf and make yourself at home. Let me know when you're ready to order!”

“Thank you,” the stranger mumbled as he gave a curt nod towards Petra.

Today's been a fairly slow day for Levi at his tea shop. Ever since the breakup with Eren, he found himself falling in and out of this little pit of despair. Some days he would be doing fine and some days, he would realize how lonely he truly was. He was grateful to all his friends for trying to cheer him up and help him through the tragic turn in his life, but sometimes it just wasn't enough. Even when you’re surrounded by all these amazing people who care about you, it’s different when you’re emotionally invested in someone. It’s different when you have someone you can hold after you come home from a long day of work. It’s different when you want to share a side of you with someone special. It’s different when you want to make all these memories with someone you love from the bottom of your heart. But no matter how much you care for someone, you can’t change the way they feel. Levi learned that the hard way.

While working at his old company, he found himself getting more and more restless. Days would go by and he would constantly find himself suffocating inside the four walls of his office. He wasn’t able to concentrate on himself or his work. It was like everything was going over his head and he had no control over any of his actions. He was struggling to keep up with his surroundings. And by nightfall, he would find himself just waiting for time to pass. He would clean every corner of his single bedroom apartment, read a book, surf the web, anything to make the time go by faster or until he was tired enough to fall asleep--not that his body allowed him to. Every time he would close his eyes, anticipating sleep to wash over him, his body would start experiencing this “falling” sensation. He wasn’t particularly asleep or even dreaming about falling, but his limbs would begin to feel like they were sagging. They would become increasingly heavier and heavier by the second. This would cause Levi to jolt awake with a sense of panic and anxiety rising within him. He would lie there awake, sheets tangled in his sweaty limbs, replaying the breakup in his head over and over again like a scene from a movie. Sometimes the silence of the night would be interrupted with quiet sobs; sometimes Levi would just stare at his ceiling waiting for the hours to pass by slowly. _What did I do to deserve this?_

Levi felt so powerless. He felt numb inside. He stopped carrying any sign of emotion and the things he actually cared for just became a thing of his past. Yet there he was, pretending like his whole life _wasn’t_ tumbling down with one swift motion. No matter what he did or how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t get that _stupid_ cheesy smile out of his head. The emerald of Eren’s eyes would constantly haunt him in his dreams. There were days where he would dream about Eren asking him to come back to him, but Levi would refuse because he felt so hurt and betrayed. He felt cheated. Everything happened so fast that he didn’t have time to stop and think about what was going on. Or _why_ they came to this decision in the first place. What actually caused all this to take place? Why _now?_ Levi would let his thoughts constantly get a hold of him, while his emotions lingered in the darkest realms of his mind.

After a few years of going through the same meaningless cycle, Levi decided that it was time that he did something with his life. He was tired of feeling like this. He was tired of succumbing to this deep depression that slowly took over his entire being. Levi decided it was time for him to focus on himself and not anyone else. He quit his job at the office and used his saved funds to purchase a deed to an empty store space which he transformed into a little tea shop. He wanted it to be a place for people to come and relax. A place for people to get away from their daily struggles and to just sit back and enjoy a warm, soothing cup of tea; maybe even read a book while they’re at it. So far, Levi’s been content with the way things are. He hired a few close friends to help him run the shop; one of which was Petra. He loved meeting all kinds of people with different personalities as they stepped foot in his shop. He loved the vast array of tea sets that he has collected throughout the years, he loved his employees and customers, he loved the open and welcoming environment, most of all, he loved that he could call this place his home. He always looked forward to waking up in the morning and living each moment of the day.

 _Ding_. The sound of the door opening pulled Levi out of his thoughts. He let Petra take care of it as he finished polishing the rest of teacups.

“Welcome!” Petra greeted the customer, “please, make yourself at home.”

The customer smiled at Petra and made his way towards the individual seated at the counter. “Hey, hun,” he said as he gave the other individual a peck on the cheek. He took off his messenger bag that he had slung over his shoulder and set it on the stool right beside him.

“Took you long enough,” the brown haired individual said as he smirked.

Levi stopped what he was doing. His actions stilled as he stood wide-eyed, staring at the wall in front of him; his back facing the two individuals seated at the counter. _That voice_. A slight panic arose as Levi’s heart started pounding faster and faster. _It can’t be…_ Levi gently set the polishing rag and teacup down, his hands were slightly shaking. He took a minute to calm down and shook his head before he picked up the teacup once again and continued to polish it. _It can’t be him._

“Are you guys ready to order?” Petra smiled as she acknowledged the caring atmosphere between the two lovers in front of her. 

“Yes. We'll take a pot of today's special wiiiith--” the brunet lightly tapped his forefinger on his chin as he thought about what pastry he wanted on the side. “A cheese danish.”

“A cheese danish with green tea? I still can't get over your odd mixture of foods.” The brunet’s other half playfully nudged him.

“Hey, I'll eat what I want!” The brunet winked causing the other individual to blush.

Petra couldn't help, but to giggle at the little exchange between the two lovers. “You guys are cute,” she gave them a warm smile. “So all you want is a pot of today's special and a cheese danish, is that correct?” The couple gave her a curt nod to verify their order. She then turned around towards Levi and asked him to start brewing the tea while she warmed up the danish for the brunet.

The brunet’s companion stood up from his seat and made his way to the giant bookshelf located within the teashop. The bookshelf covered an entire wall. Levi had it custom built and stocked it up with first editions; much of which he collected from his youth. The rest of the shelves were filled with books people have donated throughout the years; anyone was welcomed to borrow said books as well.

Levi got to work on making the tea while the couple was quietly occupied in their own little world. He did his best not to acknowledge them as he focused on fixing their order. Levi pulled off a jade colored teapot from the bottom shelf of his collection. Along the sides of the ceramic piece were trees outlined in black, creating almost an old-fashioned Japanese effect. There was a bamboo style handle connected to the top of the teapot, allowing for a comfortable grip while pouring the hot liquid occupying the hollow space within. The matching cups were simple, black Japanese styled teacups with a jade colored rim to finish off the look. After pouring the freshly brewed tea into the teapot, Levi lifted the jade colored ceramic and gently set it into a wooden, black tray. Petra brought out the danish on a white, ceramic saucer and set it down on the tray.

Levi picked up the finished order and turned around to be met with a sight he wasn't prepared for. His eyes widened in a fit of panic while his body stilled. There, sitting in front of him was a familiar mop of messy brown hair and a set of radiant green eyes mirroring his exact same expression.

“L-Levi?” The brunet’s mouth fell slightly open as his voice wavered in astonishment.

Levi just stared at Eren without saying a word. Every emotion he ever felt in the past several years came gushing forward without any significant warning. His eyes portrayed every feeling he's ever felt; from rage to longing to frustration and so on. His heart began racing as the air in his lungs began to suffocate him. Levi just stood there, thinking of something to say, but all he could muster up was one simple word, _why_?

“I'm sorry?” Eren looked at the raven haired man with a dubious expression.

“Why?” Levi retorted. “Why are you here? Why are you here in _my_ shop?” The lilt of Levi's voice contained a sharp command. Out of everything he was feeling, he settled on anger. His eyes turned into a solid gray color as he stared at Eren. Every trace of emotion gone in a split second as he glared at the other man.

Eren put his hands up as a sign of defense.“I-I didn't know this was your shop. I swear, Levi. I-- _shit_!” He jumped up when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Babe, you okay? You look kind of pale,” A man with a two-toned undercut rubbed Eren's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. He eyed Levi, suspicious of what's going on between the two.

Eren patted the other man's hand and gave him a small smile, “I'm okay, Jean. Thanks for asking.”

“Tch.” Levi sneered at the loving aura wrapped around the couple. The anger he was previously feeling more than doubled as he saw Eren with another man. He remembered Eren saying he'd come back to him, but where was he now?

“Hey, buddy. You got a problem or somethin’?” Jean glared at Levi.

Levi looked at Eren with furrowed brows. He was at his tipping point and one more little word from this asshole’s mouth was going to set him off. “Really? You couldn't do better than this horse shit?” Levi's words was slightly coated in venom.

Eren chose to ignore Levi's obvious hatred towards the other man. “What can I say? I like horses.” He shrugged and directed a genuine smile at Jean as he took his hand in his.

Levi felt a sharp pang in his chest. He rubbed his hand over his heart as he watched the two. All the anger he felt dissipated and left behind a residue of guilt and heartbreak. _After all these years, I still have feelings for this shithead. Fuck…_ But as always, Levi pretended to not be affected by the scene playing out in front of him. “You're probably in it for the free pony rides,” he joked, even with the obvious ache throbbing within his chest.

Eren chuckled, “Maybe I am.” Levi met Eren's eyes at the sound of his laugh. There was an unspoken tension growing between the two as their gazes lingered on each other. Levi hoped that his message would convey through the nonphysical contact. He hoped Eren can see the pain and emptiness he left behind from the day he walked away. But at the same time Levi couldn't stop himself from being enraptured by those emerald eyes. There was a sense of familiarity beckoning him to come closer; to step out of the cage he locked and chained himself in. He unconsciously rested his elbows on the counter as both him and Eren began moving towards each other.

Jean noticing something brewing between the two, swung his arm around Eren's shoulder pulling him away from Levi. “Stop talking about me like I'm not here!”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Only if you stop neighing so fucking loud in my shop. You're being a nuisance.” He turned to Eren once again, “Seriously though, I don't see it.”

Eren bit his lip as he leaned in towards Jean, “That's because you're not looking in the right places.”

Levi shook his head, “Whatever. I'm gonna let you get back to pet sitting.” He waved the two off and continued working on polishing his pots.

\-----

“What's up with that guy?” Jean sneered as the couple left the little tea shop. He intertwined his fingers with Eren as they walked back to their apartment.

“More than you'll understand,” Eren smiled.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Jean looked at the side of Eren’s smiling face with a confused expression.

“Nothing.” Eren continued to walk forward, swinging his hand back and forth as he held onto Jean’s. Inside his head, he replayed the image of a man with sharp features and stormy gray eyes. Eren’s smile faltered as he recalled the chance encounter with his ex. He began getting butterflies in his stomach as he took one last glimpse of the little tea shop before he rounded the corner. He couldn't help but to notice that he left a part of himself seated at the sleek, back stool. _Levi…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shrugs* Welp, I tried.
> 
> Let me know if there's any spelling/grammar mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :)


End file.
